The verdict is in . . .

Well we went to the ENT doctor this morning and we have some answers about Hayden's ears. I am grateful we have answers, they just aren't the answers I was hoping for.

I had prepared myself for the fact that Hayden was going to need tubes because of the amount of fluid in his ears. I was ready to hear that. I was not ready to discover the affect it has had on his poor little ears. Before we saw the ENT, Hayden had some hearing tests done. This was more upsetting to me than anything. I had to sit and hold my baby boy while he had headphones placed in his ears and a woman in another room spoke to him. I could hear her talking to Hayden and he didn't move at all to her voice. It wasn't until he saw lights that he looked to where the sound was coming. That was in his right ear. His left ear was better. It was taking everything I had not to start crying because I knew my son couldn't hear her talking. We did a few more tests and then spoke with the ladies doing the tests. Luckily, I heard better news than what I was preparing myself to hear. They basically said that because there was so much fluid in Hayden's ears (more on the right, than the left) he couldn't hear much. The sounds waves couldn't get through all the fluid. So while this means that, right now, my son can't hear much of anything, it also means that we don't know for sure if there is permanent hearing damage. We will have to wait and see after the fluid is gone.

Next, we went into the ENT and he told us that Hayden really needs to get tubes because the fluid in his inner ear was pulling his ear drum and stretching it to the point that it could make a hole and permanent damage. Also, there is a good chance that he will need his adenoids out because they are most likely infected and causing the fluid in his ears.

So what does all this mean? It means that Hayden will need surgery in the next month to put in tubes and take out his adenoids. Best case scenario the surgery will take care of everything and he will be a happy healthy boy with no permanent hearing loss. We will have to wait and see if any damage has occurred from fluid sitting in his ears.

Like I said, I am glad that we have answers, but I am sad I didn't know. I know that I shouldn't, but I feel guilty that I didn't fix this sooner for Hayden. For a couple months now I have been questioning Hayden's hearing and wondering if there was something more happening. Everyone kept telling me, oh he's fine, stop worrying, boys talk later than girls. But I knew. I am his mother and I knew there was more to it. I will be better for advocating for my child in future. I know that it hasn't been long since I started feeling this way. I haven't let it go on long, but I will no longer question my instincts as a mother. I will not let someone tell me differently when I know something about my child.

This morning I prayed only about Hayden. I prayed that we would know what to do and feel peace about our decision. Tonight I will pray that I can feel peace about the outcome. That everything will be okay and there will be no permanent side effects.

18 months . . .

I can't believe my baby boy is 18 months old. Time is going too quickly. I love watching him grow and learn. Hayden is so inquisitive. He likes to explore and discover new things. Hayden is a stubborn little guy (wonder who he got that from?). While it is frustrating at times, like when I can't go to a store because he won't sit in the cart or when he won't hold my hand in the parking lot but he won't let me hold him either. You know, typical toddler stuff. I do love that he is strong willed and determined. I think this is a good quality and will serve him well as he gets older.

At 18 months Hayden . . .
- weighs 31 pounds (96%)
- is  34 inches tall (91%)
- gabs all the time. Can't understand a lot of it, but some of my favorites are "wat tis?" (what's this), "i ike" (I like), mama (of course!), dadas (daddy), "nack" (snack), "orge" (george . . . the boy LOVES Curious George)
- is strong willed
- sleeps 11 - 12 hours at night and takes one 3 hour nap in the afternoon . . . except when mom is home then it's like an hour and a half.  He just knows when I'm home and won't sleep long. I love that he loves me, but come on! :)
- Loves to jump and spin
- Actually shoots the basketball in his hoop instead of slam dunking it.
- Likes to walk up and down the stairs instead of crawling
- LOVES blocks. At his 18 month check up the doctor asked if he can put 4 - 6 blocks together. . . He build towers taller than himself!
- LOVES Curious George. I think he would watch it all day if we let him.
- loves to give kisses.
- Sings to me as I rock him to sleep at night. I always sing him a couple songs and when I am done, he sings to me. Favorite part of the day!

 We just love our sweet Hayd. He is such a good boy. I don't know what my life would be without him. I just look at him and wonder what kind of man he will be and where life will take him. I know he will be successful in something that he loves. His strong will and determination will serve him well. I see him continuing to be active and energetic. I think he will be a good athlete . . . I hope! He has a sweet spirit about him and sensitive to the environment he is in. When people are happy around him, he is happy and ready to play. When someone is sad, he is concerned about them.

I can't wait to see him continue to grow and learn. He brings so much joy and laughter to our family. Love you bubba!

Is Spring here?

Oh my goodness, I think this is the longest winter ever! I can't remember being in April and it not being warm every day. It has been warm every once in awhile here, but not like it should be. But when we do get warm days, we have been taking advantage of them.

Hayden LOVES being outside. One night he had fun helping his dad wash the car . . .

Who needs a rag . . . a hand works great!

Apparently, my jeans need to be cleaned

Today was my last day of spring break. I can't believe how fast it went by. I did not get done everything I wanted to accomplish, but I did what I needed . . . spend lots of time with my bubba which is the most important thing. To end spring break on a good note, we went to a state park not far from our house and had some fun

Loving the swing!

Shane was channeling his inner Sheldon . . . bazinga!

Easter 2013 . . .

Easter was really fun this year! It was a whirlwind, but fun! We started Easter weekend with my niece Evie's baptism. It was so special. I can't believe she is eight and I don't have ANY pictures, but she was beautiful and so happy. She has an amazing spirit about her and is a special girl.

After the baptism we went to my brother's house and decorated eggs. Hayden didn't quite get the idea that you can't tip the cups so dying eggs lasted about 2 seconds for him :).

Easter morning was great! Hayden wasn't quite ready to see what the Easter bunny brought him, but he quickly and happily joined in on the festivities.

Cousin Love

After the kiddos checked out their Easter baskets it was time to head outside and find eggs!

And to end a wonderful day, after church we headed down to Otoe and had dinner with the Bennett's. Hayden had so much fun running around in the country. I think he loved not having mom yell at him to stop and not run out into the street :)